The three day weekend beckons, dear readers, and predictably the sunshine has plans to scarper elsewhere. It'll be about as scorchio as Terry Wogan presenting Eurovision in his underpants, so you might as well scrap those plans to loll around on the common getting slowly shedded on luke warm… read more…

In further cheesy news, the ginormous gorgonzola that is the Eurovision contest is already giving us cheesy grins. We're sure UK entry Andy Abraham enjoys his cheddar as much as the next man, but we all know French brie beats all. And by brie, we mean white suited French… read more…

Notorious rock slut, Cilla Black, announced this morning that she is to represent Bethnal Green's Bangladeshi community in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest when she returns from her drug-fuelled honeymoon in the Seychelles with new husband, Russ Abbott. Speaking exclusively to Glitterditch in her trademark crotchless burkha the flame-haired beauty… read more…

Last week, we told you about the fabulous sounding night Apocalympics. Sadly, we were already double booked and couldn't make it. But we needn't have worried! We had a chat with those imaginative people at Hot Breath and the night went so well, they'll be back to do it… read more…