NO! Stoppit. Right. Now. This is a plea to publishers everywhere. We know you are easily influenced and manipulated by celebrity. The fact that Geri Halliwell has been allowed to spew her mindless self-aggrandising crap at 5-7 year olds is bad enough. But we swear down that we will… read more…

Thank God for celebrities behaving like twats, eh? If there's one thing we've learned, if you're going to do something illegal it's best to get caught red-handed on film. That way you see, the rozzers are fucked for proper evidence and you swan off with no more than a… read more…

While it's all la-di-da up at the Chelsea Flower Show, it's come to Glitterditch's attention that certain other elements of this fine city's demographic aren't maintaining such high standards of conduct. Step forward London's premier smackhead and fail-safe tabloid favourite, Master Peter Doherty. Turns out this veritable charmer of… read more…

Whilst I'm no big fan of fascism, and am generally of the opinion that people should be free to do whatever they choose, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I don't have a big problem with the ban of alcohol consumption on public transport. In fact, to expand… read more…

Ever since the Nick Clegg revelation, we’ve been thinking about celebrity sex. OK, so that was politician sex, but in the days where Arnie gets to be governor, slebrity and politics are basically interchangeable. What is it about certain people that means we slaver after knowledge of their bedroom… read more…

Every place has its share of oddballs and eccentrics. Those that invite 'witticisms' such as one sandwich short of a picnic, etc. But whenever reading or watching news updates about our city these days, we seem to be bombarded with famous faces displaying worrying signs of utter craziness. They seem… read more…

She's supporting Hillary Clinton in the race to receive the Democratic nomination in the American presidential election, but pop superstar Madonna has never been too political on these shores. However, all that has changed as the Material Girl has launched an attack on Ken Livingston. And what has got her… read more…

Now, we don't want to discourage people from writing and following their dreams, but we do want to stop celebrities thinking they can write for magazines. What makes GQ Magazine think that Naomi Campbell can write? Interview? Do anything that doesn't involve walking in a straight line and throwing… read more…

So, seeing as Big Brother is getting started, we thought we have to mention it. And then we'll have to go and make much more coffee because it's so dull. The only thing worth mentioning? Well, bless Channel 4 for trying their best to avoid a race row. (Not… read more…

Amy blacks out after police quiz her. Digital radio channel TheJazz launch new talent show. Why does that sound so much classier than X-Factor? Apparently Lily is laying off the fags. We reckon she'll be snapped puffing away within two months. Cynical? Us? Spice Girls force their kids to… read more…