Put Your Hands Together For Glamour

Last night the Glamour awards took place in right posh Berkeley Square. Mainstream media whores were out in force, sucking ass like a Dyson on three inch shagpile. And us Glitterditchers - always ready with a fat bribe to sneak in through the back door - had our spies out in force to give you the skinny on what really went down last night. And it wasn't what Glamour magazine would have you believe...

The 'razzi pack were all over Lily Allen's pink ~~fright wig~~ hair do. So far, so Heat Magazine. But what they won't have had a chance to capture for posterity was that Ms Allen was so fucked off her face it's a wonder she managed to stagger onto the stage to accept the Editor's Choice award. Or should that be the Right Royally Cunted award?

The award for Limelight Grabbing Twat unsurprisingly goes to Geri Halliwell for hogging the microphone while accepting the award for Best Band with fellow spices Mel B and Emma. Demonic, fame-hungry loser? She's got that look pinned down.

The Pointless But Pretty award goes to twosome du jour, Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe. Quite why these people are as famous as they are is beyond us - he did that song with Amy Winehouse and she pranced around in her smalls for Agent Provocateur - but whatever. There ain't enough love in the world and they look like they're bumping uglies, and bumping them good.

On the veteran front, we heart Annie Lennox but she wants to watch that global poverty intensity thing. We're all for a good cause but we'd hate it if she went the way of prize nobber Bono.

Kate Beckinsale gets the Big Bag Of Wrong prize for the horrendous state of her knockers. Those puppies should be having a swoon-inducing squabble with each other, but they're entirely misplaced to do such a thing. Speed dial the men with knives, NOW.

And last but not least, we salute Beth Ditto for being plain and simple, cool as fuck.

Image courtesy of kev.flanagan's photostream on Flickr.

Written by Ria on 4 Jun 2008 3:52 PM. Permalink