Dear Mr Landlord, fuck you

Glitterditch is sick and tired of hearing about property owners, buyers, mortgage rates, housing crashes, and fitting the perfect bathroom so that the value of your property skyrockets. We'd like to point out that not all of us own property, mainly because there are some grasping bastards (and we're pointing at you, Baby Boomers) who've bought all of it. We're bitter. Very bitter. Because if you wrinklies take all of the property then there is nowhere for the young 'uns to frolic. We are young and free and nubile, and these are the best years of our life - we don't want to waste them shovelling rent into your fat, greedy, multiple-home-owning hands.

And so if we read one other story that mourns the misfortunes of property owners, we will scream. Today's contribution is a panic-stricken article in the Standard about 'gazundering.' Gazundering, apart from being one of the absolute best words in the English language, is the most recent property nightmare to be plaguing the sweet sleep of homeowners, and hence we approve of it.

'Gazundering' is the practise of slashing your offer on a property just a few days before you exchange the contract. Apparently house prices are coming down so much that buyers are doing this all over the place to try and get a last minute discount. It's not illegal, but we're led to believe that it might just be unethical. Therefore, according to the Standard, it definitely should not be done.

Sorry - what? Since when have we been overly concerned with what is ethical? More to the point, how ethical is the frigging property ladder anyway? Sellers will tart their house up nice, try to hide the damp to fool you, and raise the price above what the property is worth in order to get a higher offer. Estate agents will lie through their teeth, harass you over the telephone, and all but force oral sex upon you if you so much as mention that you might be looking. So when it comes to sneaky home buying tactics, we're with this guy.

"Don't worry about the vendors feelings. When they got on the property ladder, they made a decision to become an investor. Now they have to live with the consequences of that decision - good and bad."

That's the kind of no-holds-barred, 24 carat bastardry that we can really sink our teeth into.

Written by Nikki on 17 May 2008 11:10 AM. Permalink