Bring on the booze ban

Whilst I'm no big fan of fascism, and am generally of the opinion that people should be free to do whatever they choose, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I don't have a big problem with the ban of alcohol consumption on public transport. In fact, to expand on that, I do have a problem with these cunts who are complaining about it. There's a particularly pathetic and pointless campaign on Facebook encouraging people to have one last drink on the tube on May 31st.

WHO FUCKING CARES!? What kind of a gimp is interested in getting boozed up on the tube, anyway? Since when was it civilised and stylish, or even comfortable, to drink alcohol on a bus or tube? It's way too gauche to even go there. Who has ever laid out a patchwork blanket whilst in transit on the Piccadilly line in order to settle down and enjoy a refreshing Pimms and lemonade? The only people who drink conspicuously on public transport are tramps, oiks and Australians. What's wrong with hanging on till you get to the fucking pub?

True, with no powers yet in place to deal with people who do breach the new ban, life might get more difficult for transport workers, as pointed out by Transport Central. And we will be pissed off if Bob Crow uses it as an excuse to flex union muscle.

But let's look at the big picture and be realistic. Discreet drinkers - like the functional alcoholics who already substitute the water in their Evian bottles for vodka, and those who carry a subtle hip flask for a perky nip now and again - are not the issue. If you quietly want to be able to sup a bit of a spirit and mixer on your way to a night out it will be very easy to decant your beverage into a soft drink container and render its identity non-alcoholic, transforming your Jack and Coke into Dr Pepper or whatever. If you're not a nuisance, no one's gonna notice, much less care, if you dress up your drink in a bit of harmless drag.

It's the gangs of gassed-up, burping, obnoxious, in-yer-face twats that this ban is aimed at eliminating. The shoals of squealing pissheads who demand the attention of the full carriage. The people that invade our personal space and intimidate us. The uninvited skankbags who verminize our everyday lives. The ones who puke and pollute and shout and scream and piss us all off. And good fucking riddance.

If we were a more civilised society, maybe these measures wouldn't be considered necessary. And perhaps it's a bit annoying to be told what not to do. But the sad fact is that there are a lot of stupid cunts among us and someone needs to be saying something about responsibility somehow - so maybe this ban is the lesser of two evils. It's already clear that taking a softy softly approach, and 'educating' people - like with the government's latest anti-binge drinking campaign - doesn't work.

Take the lion tamer out of the circus ring if you want, but don't complain when your children get chomped.

Image of drunk man on Tube from Broadwayk's photostream on Flickr.

Written by Dickie on 14 May 2008 5:31 PM. Permalink