We are Glitterstorm, and we shall destroy you

We’re fans of this, for obvious reasons - trashy TV? Sexy people? Fighting to the death end of the series where fabulous prizes can be won? Yes please.

What we enjoy even more is painfully awful descriptions of people as things. One of the female gladiators, Tempest, is billed as “a force of nature bringing furious agitation and commotion.” Superb. But she cannot rival Tornado, for he is a “violently destructive windstorm.” One hopes they never meet, lest the world should be torn to pieces by the unstoppable forces of their windbaggery.

Anyway, we shouldn’t grumble – Gladiators was unquestionably the best big-haired TV show of our awkward teenaged years childhood . We also wouldn’t want to slag the gladiators off too much, in case we incur their wrath and they beat us to death with bits of foam.