Sparkles and spanking

There may well be none of our readers who are interested in this (For those who are already utterly disgusted at the suggestion, we suggest you have a look at something a little tamer), but on the off chance that we can truly make someone’s Friday night, this is our recommendation. It’s warm, welcoming, and set in what looks like an old soft-porn studio. You’ll be greeted on the door by a pert-breasted woman, and entertained to varying degrees by singing, pole dancing, and old guys wanking in dark corners.

We suggest that you bring some sort of fetish outfit with you. You don’t have to be head-to-toe in rubber and jizz, but if you turn up in jeans and a tee shirt you’ll be turned away, or made to play in vest and pants. Unless you have a strict-school-gym-teacher fetish, this is probably undesirable. We also recommend that you bring condoms. For some bizarre reason, The F club doesn’t provide them, although it does put on the traditional crap buffet that is de rigeur at any swinging event.

They’re friendly, easy, casual, and surprisingly young and sexy. So go along, play, wank quietly, or just observe. Free crisps and boobs beckon.