Kylie's US Tour Razes Eyebrow

The Kylie camp is apparently so close to breaking point that her extraordinarily protuberant Right Eyebrow, vexed at being de-emphasized by ever more elaborate eye make-up (see pic) and increasingly cunning fringe work, is now so highly strung it is ready to walk, and is allegedly in talks with American networks, looking to carve out its own potentially lucrative US TV career.

Word has it that US TV bosses have been working on a format for an exciting new reality show and The Eyebrow is said to be first choice to front the project, although Heather Mills is also understood to be frantically lobbying for the job. However, so confident is The Eyebrow of landing the gig, and of ensuing solo success, that it is planning on staying behind in the US when Kylie flies back to London following her unprofitable promotional peregrination.

Sources close to The Eyebrow, who stress they had no part in leaking the preview clip of the pilot show posted below, say that execs are more interested in using Heather as a possible contestant, rather than as the host. One friend said, "There's no competition. As far as we're concerned, Heather hasn't got a leg to stand on."

What The Eyebrow may not know is that a potential rival is flying across the Pond from Italy, ostensibly to promote his own work, but our spies tell us he's seen the pilot for the new show and thinks it's the perfect TV launchpad...