Dirty beasts

Don't you just hate it when you miss out on the limelight? Our sources have it that there was a cute little seal in the Thames on Wednesday, and Glitterditch would have liked to point you to a picture of it. Unfortunately, the press aren't interested in wildlife any more. Unless, of course, someone's touching it up.

For anyone who's been wondering what happened to those dudes who frolicked with a dolphin in the chilly English waters near Folkestone, here is your money shot; they have been found guilty of "harassing a dolphin". We're wondering at what point 'dolphin harassment' got written into the law, but at the same time we are happy to have these vicious bestial bastards punished.

And so, to celebrate the capture of such heinous criminals, we'd like to give you a little advice. If you're going to go around stroking, touching, or otherwise interfering with non-human things, you can do a lot worse than a dolphin. Come to think of it, last year gave us a number of hilarious sex incidents, and we're wondering why 2008 hasn't provided anything similar yet. Glitterditch politely requests that you hop to it, but advises that you remember the safe, sane and consensual rule, and try to go for inanimate rather than animate things. Not only are they cheap dates, but you can chat them up without a degree in marine biology.

Written by Nikki on 18 Apr 2008 9:26 AM. Permalink