Our top six 2008 Wishes

Where is everyone? It's 2008 and we want scandal! Excitement! Silliness! People doing crazy things. Apart from Billie Piper getting hitched, it's all been a tad boring so far.

So instead which all those celebs are checking into rehab to detox (have they never heard of Nurofen and a smoothie?), here's what we want to happen in 2008.

We want Lily Allen to have elocution lessons.
We really want to see Heather Mills stay quiet on live telly. Fiver says she can't.
Bring back the Pete Doherty/Kate Moss saga! We know he's horrid but he's more interesting than her new bloke.
We know that Britney has... erm.... issues. But we'd love it if she turned it all around in a week and said it was a big publicity stunt. She'd have her own chat show by March.
Someone interesting should design clothes for Topshop. Like Jo Brand.
And Amy Winehouse? Well, we want her to sort her hair out. But we're not expecting miracles from this year so anything else might be asking a bit too much.